Why Can't I Just Keep My Fucking Mouth Shut?

They can just go ahead and re-name me Debbie Downer. Today was the second time now that I've been at lunch with co-workers and I just dropped a depressing bomb of a sob story out of nowhere. WTF is wrong with me?

Last time: we were all having a conversation and a co-worker introduced me to some of his old co-workers as married, when I just bust out with, "not for much longer!" Of COURSE, the conversation immediately stops. I try to backtrack, but you can't after something like that. I think I was trying to be funny but I missed? I'm really not sure.

Today we were talking about getting dizzy and almost passing out on crash diets. I think I was trying to empathize. I say, "yeah, I get like that every day."

What
THE
FUCK?!?!?!?