Le sigh.
Anyway.

Yesterday I had to take my 2nd rest day because I overslept in the morning thanks to an unexpected string of nights riddled with insomnia. Then I didn't get home from class until close to 10 p.m. I wasn't worried about it, though, since I walked almost 2 miles with Kona on Monday and passed my midterm last night WITH FLYING COLORS!
I've never been so nervous about a test in my life - I barely had the time or mental energy to study, but I somehow managed to pull it off, even with all the trauma I've experienced recently. The whole night re-framed my idea of . . . . everything. All of a sudden, the advice my dad's given me my whole life about "everything in moderation" really hit me. You see, my idea about tests - about school, about work, about training - and I've probably mentioned this - has always been very black and white. In general, I have a problem with grey areas. (This is in direct conflict with my tendency to be a big picture person - I don't excel at details.) I didn't have the normal 12-15 hours I usually spend on tests and homework for this test (thanks to obvious events in my life) and I was absolutely panic-stricken. But, for some reason, after I passed the test with an A- , I stopped and realized that I don't need to devote 12-15 hours studying for one exam in order to pass it. I don't have to memorize the minutiae to prove I know the material. And then I started thinking deeper about it and realized the same goes for work - I don't need to be earning promotions and raises to prove I'm doing something, just doing my job and learning. And then I realized it is the same for training - if I can't make a 9-mile run, but I still have time for 2 miles, that 2 miles is more miles than I would have logged if I'd just given up and said "Damn, I can't run today." Doing everything is better than doing something, but doing something is better than doing nothing.
Thank you, Captain Obvious!
So I made myself a deal. From now on, whether it's paying bills, working, training, studying, visiting friends, volunteering - I'm going to start respecting that I can't do everything. But. immediately after I acknowledge that, I'm going to make a commitment to do something. Anything. No matter how tiny the effort is, even if I'm sick as hell and all I can do is run to the park and back, read one chapter, finish one set of documents, or commit to a future race.
You know that hokey equation about finishing races that goes DLF>DNF>DNS? Here's mine for life: Everything>Something>Nothing.
Today: Almost 6 miles, Kona made it the whole way, 1:19 and change.
Tomorrow: 3mi.
Friday: 3mi.
Saturday: Lake Nona 5k.
Sunday: 6-8 mi.
2 Weeks: Celebration Founders' Day 10k.
5 Weeks: OUC Half Marathon.
15 weeks: Melbourne Marathon.
Triathlon schedule for 2009 will follow.
4 tidbits of wizdom:
YES!!! Exactly, a little bit still counts. I struggle with this the whole 'I can't do what's on my schedule so it must be a rest day.'
Bravo Captain Obvious. :)
Congrats on the midterm! That's such a load off!
oh and btw....IM's been around a long time. I'm pretty sure they'll do it again in 2010. No big whoop. ;)
Way to go on the midterm!
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