So, This Whole Blogging Thing? I'm Kinda Over It.

I was sitting here tonight, feeling like ass, again. I haven't trained since Sunday. SUNDAY.

Fuck.

I can't get over how I get sick either before or after EVERY SINGLE RACE.

Then I sit here and whine for days or weeks about how off-track I am.

So I wandered over to Wes' blog to re-read his recount of the Ironman FL run and to read his recap, and I started craving that feeling I get when I cross the finish line of a long race. And Hector e-mailed me the schedule for next year, and I realized I'm already doing some of the club races. And I thought about the PRs I've had this year. And everything I've gone through, and I'm still getting stronger, smarter, faster - and, every week, pounds closer to my "normal" weight.

I may be slow as shit, but I'm still moving. Dammit.

And then I got to thinking about how, before I was really blogging, and when I'm not really blogging, I just sort of naturally drift toward training. But the minute I have to be accountable and share it with other people, well . . . there's all this guilt associated with it, and with not doing it. Even on the days when I feel sick I don't give myself a break. Right now I'm sitting here trying not to throw up, and I'm screaming at myself for not running yet this week.

I wonder how different things would be if I just went back to writing it in my training calendar? Hmmmm. Just a thought.