The Murdolater

Bender's a Genius!

I'm a big Futurama fan.  Futurama is an animated series about a kid from the past (Fry) that gets cryogenically frozen and ends up working as an intergalactic delivery.boy in the future for his own nephew (Professor Farnsworth), a brilliant, eccentric, and - thanks to his advanced age - somewhat senile scientist. His pals include Leela, a purple-maned feisty feminista who is also a cyclops and for whom Fry harbors romantic feelings; and Bender, a larcenous, cigar-smoking, womanizing, self-aggrandizing robot who runs on alcohol.

(Side note. Whenever Bender comes up with a good idea, he is the first to announce: "Bender's a genius!" So, whenever I am guilty of my own horn-tooting, The B will look at me and crow, "Bender's a genius!")

Anyway, in one episode they find out that the Professor has some horrible disease he doesn't want to live with. He spends the episode trying to get them to kill him, but no one will, so he tries to set up accidents to accomplish his goal, which also doesn't fool anyone.  In the end, they feel sorry for him and construct a Doomsday Device to help him end his life.  They lie him in the center; it's one of those contraptions where one motion trips another then another then another and finally something dramatic happens, like an axe falling on his chest.  (In case you are worried about the Professor, they find out he doesn't have the disease he thinks he has, so he no longer wants to die, by the way.)

Anyway. They call this contraption The Murdolator. And that's what I call bike races. Because they really are that hard.
 
I say this with love. I mean, I'm branching out here and stretching outside my comfort zone and I love it, and I love the challenge, and I'd like to not suck at it someday.  But in the meantime, I just don't want to get murdolated.

Tomorrow is the day. My first criterium race.  I decided to do it because it is the least technical and thus more newbie-friendly and safe.

And I know I won't place, and I'll be lucky to finish. So all I hope is that I don't get murdolated.

Wish me luck.