Worst.Parade.Ever.

I feel like Professor Farnsworth from Futurama.

Good news, everyone!  I survived  finals! 

Now it's time to start my course development project and start my off-season maintenance swim-focus-type plan.

Well, maybe not quite yet.  I'd kind of like a little more ass-sittery first.

This weekend I was thinking about something funny that happened during the marathon last weekened. It was mile 5, and we were coming up to a spectator station.  Someone was holding a sign that said:

WORST PARADE EVER!!!!

 

I laughed so hard I almost peed.  Of course, I instantly thought of Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl - Don't Rain on My Parade.   

 

Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade

 

And Huntsville was trying REALLY hard to rain on all of our parades that day, with clouds and humidity as low as 81% and as high as 93%.

 

Then about mile 13 I saw another one.  This one said:

WORST PARADE EVER.

THROW SOME CANDY!

 

SO I'm thinking:

 

Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?

 

Some of my favorite race signs of all time.

 

Speaking of laughs, have I mentioned that I am a huge Pinterest fan these days?  I spend more time on there than any other social network, taking down recipes and household hints and LOL'ing at funnies.

 

My latest laugh was the auto-tuned remix of an interview with Sweet Brown, an Oklahoma woman who talked with reporters after her apartment complex caught on fire.  She told reporters that she "didn't grab no shoes or nothin', Jesus, I RAN for my life."  Brown went on to, animatedly, add the line that has now made her an internet sensation: "And then the smoke hit me.  I got bronchitis! Ain't nobody got time for that!"

 

This has become my answer for everything these days.

 

Finals? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Drama? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Negativity? Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

And I'm not gonna lie . . . since I'm totally in ass-sittery mode, somedays it's even: Clothing and makeup? Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

Go watch the video, and I bet you'll start finding excuses to say it, too.

 

Of course, ain't nobody got time for that, either.

 

And, because they just sound like something I've written or said, I'm including the rest of the lyrics to Parade. Plus, a race photo of the dreary day of the Worst Parade Ever.

 

I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir
I guess I didn't make it
But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection
A freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade,

I'm gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mr. Arnstein, here I am ...

I'll march my band out, I will beat my drum,
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir,
I guess I didn't make it
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!