Having a holiday season birthday, as I've mentioned, is one of my favorite things in life. But it can also be really tough. Thanksgiving and Christmas are, arguably, the largest holidays of the year, so it's easy to feel overshadowed and forgotten when people are so busy with their holiday hustle and bustle.
The past few years, I've been uncharacteristically aggravated with having a holiday birthday. One reason is that I had some people in my life who made me feel like I didn't deserve my own holiday. One of them even told me one year that I didn't get a birthday party in November because I celebrated my graduation from CSU in August. (I mean, seriously, people - joy and cheer are not your private possessions, nor are parties or feeling special.)
The other thing that made me feel sort of lonely and left out was this living between two cities I do. I drive 70 miles round trip just for work, and one of my best friends is now 60 miles one way from me.
So, I wasn't quite feelin' the spirit lately like I have for the last 30+ years of my life.
The other thing that made me feel sort of lonely and left out was this living between two cities I do. I drive 70 miles round trip just for work, and one of my best friends is now 60 miles one way from me.
So, I wasn't quite feelin' the spirit lately like I have for the last 30+ years of my life.
Luckily, four things happened that shook me out of this aggravation.
First of all, it occurred to me that there's nothing I can do to make people less assholey. I can't control what people say to me or how they think. And, while I'm currently working as hard as I can to be closer to my office, I can't snap my fingers and move my house closer to my friends or my job. All I can do is my best to improve both situations and, failing that, deal with my own insecurities that cause my reactions to other people's bullshit.
Second, the B was having a conversation with one of his BFFLs about the impending birth of their first child. I mentioned that the baby will be "one of my people" (meaning born around the same time and a proud member of Thanksbirthmas.) B and his friend were cackling about how being worried about being born around the holidays - and subsequently forgotten or overlooked - is the ultimate in first world problems.
Which it is. I mean, now I'm the asshole, worrying about only getting one gift or only having one party. (Still not as bad as the assholes who think they get all the parties and no one else gets any. I stand by that.)
Third, I've been feeling physically very well this holiday season. I don't know if it's the forced rest from the stress fracture, the increase in my thy meds, or that the things I'm allergic to are not as active in winter. Don't care. Will take it anyway.
Finally, this Thanksbirthmas, the people around me really made me feel special. I've gotten to do some amazing things and be some amazing places with all my best friends. I realized I have a big group of people that are pretty much stuck with me for life. (I know I probably sound nutty and a little whiny, but if you ever had to life with me, I promise it would be a REALLY good time.)
In other words - I realized that the holidays and birthdays are not about parties or gifts or money spent. They're about things that matter, like being comfortable with yourself, feeling physically well and spending time with friends.
Now I'm back to working on my recovery-to-70.3-training plan. Hope you have a Holly Jolly Thanksbirthmas, too.
In other words - I realized that the holidays and birthdays are not about parties or gifts or money spent. They're about things that matter, like being comfortable with yourself, feeling physically well and spending time with friends.
Now I'm back to working on my recovery-to-70.3-training plan. Hope you have a Holly Jolly Thanksbirthmas, too.
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